I found this quote in one of my psychology texts, and I really liked it…
Many people, May believed, lack the courage to face their destiny, and in the process of fleeing from it, they give up much of their freedom. Having negated their freedom, they likewise run away from their responsibility. Not being willing to make choices, they lose sight of who they are and develop a sense of insignificance and alienation. In contrast, healthy people challenge their destiny, cherish their freedom, and live authentically with other people and with themselves. They recognize the inevitability of death and have the courage to live life in the present.
(Fiest & Fiest, p. 343)
Feist, J., & Feist, G. (2009). Theories of personality (7th ed.). New York: McGraw Hill
Courage to Face Destiny
I remember many times coming face to face with destiny only to shrink back and retreat. Now, I am learning to breath through the fear of destiny and to “flinch forward” despite the initial intimidation.
Rick feels he is more “destiny challenged” and finds that he is currently in a stage of retreat. This ying/yang relationship with destiny has presented itself most apparently when Rick and I played the XBOX game Portal 2. I played the role of the idiot that would leap toward danger and even “game death” in order to learn and figure out each puzzle.
Rick, spent more time cautiously feeling his through each puzzle trying not to “die” in the game. Death has very few meaningful negative consequences in this game, and after several gaming sessions, Rick started having more fun “dying” for fun and learning.
Being stuck in a undesirable life situation generally points towards a destiny decision that one is failing to make…if you make the choice, you cut off yourself from the past, and this can be a difficult fear to face. Learning to embrace and challenge destiny means to make those choices when they arise sooner rather than later. If one make the wrong choice, this will become apparent soon enough and then at least you know you can go back and choose again. Making choices tends to open more doors, and brings increased freedom.
Choosing is more difficult today in general because we have SO MANY choices…In this TED talk, many strategies are discussed in how to make choosing easier.
Freedom Brings Responsibility
Having made a choice will bring new levels of freedom in all areas of life…it also brings on new responsibilities that must be accepted in order to maintain the new levels of freedom. This can bring on a new challenge and cause some to retreat yet again. If you accept the new responsibilities, breathing through the anxiety, or finding new ways to cope are necessary.
Responsibility Brings Anxiety
Anxiety is neutral, it is neither bad or good…it is just is a fear of the new and unknown. A little planning to create ways to smooth the anxiety when it becomes overwhelming will help you “ramp” up to the new levels of freedom and responsibility…boredom is on one side, and freaking out overwhelm is on the other…learning to deal with both without retreating is key to facing destiny.
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